Check this - a calmer family

I've been following this blog Noble Mother for some time now on my reader and there's always something to inspire and refocus as a parent. The current series is called '10 days to a calmer family' is full of great tips such as the following random snippets:


I feel it coming on – it’s in the air of our home when our little ones need more rest, more down time, more slowness.   Like a physical fever, they need me to be close, to stop the busyness of the household, to provide more snuggles.

So often we over-schedule our children so that we don’t have to “entertain” them at home or to prevent them from becoming bored or because “it will build their self-esteem,” or because they begged and begged and in the back of your mind you worry that if you don’t start them in ballet by age 3, they won’t be as good as the other ballerinas.
Step 3 involves pulling your child close – both physically and emotionally.  This can be a challenge if your child has been throwing you for some big emotional loops lately.  The last thing you want to do is pull them towards you.  It’s during these difficult times that they need you the most.  Your willful child is the one you hold at a distance instinctively.  We pull in those easy to snuggle, those cooperative children.  I’m encouraging you to start the soul fever healing and stretch yourself by staying close to that fevered child.

And my favourite one:
Our conflict, our challenge isn’t to convince ourselves that dishes and laundry are amazing.  It is to acknowledge that as mothers to young children we are investing time into being present to these little ones as their spiritual mentors.  It is our love and guidance that makes all the difference in these early years to their own development of who they will become.  Being committed to the work of mothering is to be committed to your own inner work.  Your child can pick up on your unrest, your dissatisfaction, your resentment of mothering.

So head on over to Noble Mother and read the whole thing for yourself. 

A changing world

This is a beautifully illustrated book i borrowed from the local library recently, a story of a family's home which grew from log cabins and grows as civilization progresses in America, through the eyes of a grandmother telling her grandaughter about the house they live in and how it came to be. The thing that touched me about this book was the sense of continuity and stability, of staying in the same place, and making it home over so many generations, of hard work and perseverance and resilience.
I've lost track of the number of times i've moved houses since childhood, the number of times we've moved countries, cities, suburbs.... As a child, i absolutely loved the moves, and the thrill of what was to come next, of exploring new territory. I look around me now, and it seems like just about everyone i know has moved quite a bit in their lifetime. The last 100 years have seen huge migrations of people across the globe, due to so many things, being displaced by wars and social unrest, seeking safety and a better life in a new place.
As a parent, I sometimes wonder about the effects of so much change on children. I see benefits, such as exposure to different people and places, opening up their mind to what the world has to offer, becoming more adaptable to living in discomfort. But i also wonder wether so much change, coupled with a social norm of instant gratification would result in a person who then craves change for the sake of change, who gets hooked on a fast paced life where we get such a buzz out of it that at the slightest hint of challenging life situations, the first solution that comes to mind is - lets move somewhere else! How do we instill qualities like perseverance, resilience and patience when so many aspects of modern living and of our own lives as parents lean towards quick fixes? Just some of the many perplexing, wonderful learning opportunities that having children has given me.

long overdue post

Above: Different types of triangles - taste better with lavoshak , fruit rollup
Below: Matching game with animal silhouettes i printed and laminated. Also works as a memory game.


Its been almost 2 months now since we made the big decision to withdraw Danny from school. The reasons are many, but the outcome has been nothing but positive, beyond anything I'd ever hoped.
We arrived back in Adelaide just as the school year began, with no idea as to where we would live and what school he would go to. We pitched camp at my parents' home and frantically started looking for a school, so he endedup going to the closest public school. A very outgoing, bubbly boy nervously started school. Nervous became the dominating feature of his life from then on. He enjoyed some aspects of school, was quick with the academic aspect of things, made friends, but at the same time, his desire for perfection and wanting to fit in were very strong. He became extremely shy, to the point of frequently having 'accidents' because he couldn't ask the teacher that he needed to go, he never wanted to talk about school, and eventually he started telling me about incidents of bullying by his classmates. He also became very reluctant to go to school. I tried talking to his teacher, to the PE teacher whom he dreaded, to no avail.
But the last straw for me was his losing interest in reading. Love of learning is a big deal. Once lost, its very hard to recover, and reading is THE most important skill ever. So after prayers and family consultation, we decided to keep him home for a trial period of 2 weeks to see if there was any improvement. Sure enough, he started begging me for lessons, we did math, reading, writing, science and loads of art and craft (his passion) every day. So that was it. End of that school.
I can't begin to describe the ways in which our life has improved ever since that decision. I thoroughly enjoy teaching them myself, and watching those 'aha' moments when something clicks, when he goes dizzy with excitement to try out a new skill.... its priceless. And I'm not going to share that with a poor, frazzled busy teacher who will probably never notice or appreciate these moments anyway, as part of the conveyor belt style education system, which seems 'the' only way for most. Call me a possessive, over protective, whatever mother, but i know i'm doing what feels right at the moment, and I'll take each day as it comes.

Love these little ones

Forwarded by Lessan, little bro, who seriously needs to get into the parenting scene soon:)

"While they are at your side, love these little ones to the uttermost. Forget yourself: Serve them; care for them; lavish all your tenderness on them. Value your good fortune while it is with you, and let nothing of the sweetness of their babyhood go unprized. Not for long will you keep the happiness that now lies within your reach. You will not always walk in the sunshine with a little warm, soft hand nestling in each of yours, nor hear little feet pattering beside you, and eager baby voices questioning and prattling of a thousand things with ceaseless excitement. Not always will you see that trusting face upturned to yours, feel those little arms about your neck, and those tender lips pressed upon your cheek, nor will you have that tiny form to kneel beside you, and murmur baby prayers into your ear.

Love them and win their love, and shower on them all the treasures of your heart. Fill up their days with happiness, and share with them their mirth and innocent delights.

Childhood is but for a day. Ere you are aware it will be gone with all its gifts for ever."

by George Townsend

Blog i heart

Some fabulous parenting goodies here, Noble Mother, great articles and tips, based on Virtues guide philosophies. A good dig at the concept of timeout and super nanny, which i totally relate to.
Comment of the day : 'Allow your children to become bored enough to become creative!'.
Danny, 'mommy, you know the stuff around the lion's face, when his mommy forgot to give him a haircut?' Proceeded to make the visual to illustrate his point.

Amy do it!

'I'm 2 and i can cut my own food!! What could possibly be more exciting?' I'm sure every parent can ditto that. Toddler insists "I do it!" mom pleads, "no you can't, I'll help you", followed by hysterics because she wasn't allowed to do it. I'm still there a lot, but occasionally, years of reading up on various forms of education filter through my 'heat of the moment' brain, and tell me to step back, bite my tongue, gulp, and LET her do it. For a little bit. SUPERvised! Result: no injuries yet (touch wood), confident kids, a bit too independent, will eat anything they cut themselves (wink). Even toilet training went much better after i stepped back and let Amy do it herself, with steps up to the seat. (potties and I don't go together).

Don't talk to strangers?!

I was reminded of this phrase after an event in a playground. My friend and I were having a picnic lunch in a quiet park, 4 kids between us, when a man carrying a bottle walked past us, and stopped to talk, obviously drunk and trying to make a pass. We both ignored him and carried on, but the children watched him with interest and Danny (with his usual exuberance) responded and waved as he walked away towards his friends in the distance (also bottles in hand). My friend then told her children: "Remember I always tell you not to talk to strangers, see!"
I'm sure millions of parents out there tell their kids the same. What puzzles me is, how is a child supposed to know who a stranger really is? In this case a stranger who intends some harm to the child. Do we stop children from talking to everyone they don't know just because there is a ??? chance that one person may mean trouble? And if a person really does mean trouble, wouldn't they be smarter than that..... All I'm saying is I'm sure there's a better way to train children to be safe rather than the blanket statement "don't talk to strangers". Its hard enough getting basic courtesy from so many kids these days. What do you think?

Sand and tree house day

A visit to my friend Lotte's house is always a treat. First the scenic drive through canefields and farms, then the charming house on the hill, the eco-friendly, animal loving atmosphere and to top it off, a real tree house and sand pit to dig into - one amazing lady who has single handedly put it all together. This time, we took the sand pit experience to a whole new level. Amy was not to be seen for ages as she "cooked" and mixed the water from the drum (complete with tap), absolutely rolling in the sand and mud, making a brief appearance to claim a piece of dessert with sand-pie fingers! The joy of watching a child play with dirt is something i feel is sorely missing from life in concrete jungles. No toy can ever replace the thrill of 'getting your hands dirty' and do it without a stressed-out parent breathing down your neck to stay clean. And don't get me started on my early days, so filled with the simple joys of a truly splendid childhood - exploring the jungle( the real deal, west african style), digging out trenches in the yard with my partner in crime (little bro) and filling it with water, building cubby houses with branches, spending large chunks of my time perched up in an avocado tree reading.... Fast forward 20+ years later to today: my kids spend lots of time indoors, playing with toys, watching tv (a little bit;), lots of time being driven around - playgroups, shops, freinds homes, not a whole lot of time in nature, and little access to DIRT and carefree ways... One thing i can't really put on the shopping list..hmmm.












Great beach lifestyle here, this one is from a picnic at a park by the beach, with families of staff from Vahid's work - great bunch! Danny ended up in his togs after going for a swim fully clothed. His current best buddies on either side.

Open a book...

TV. If kids are entertained by two letters, imagine the fun they'll have with twenty-six. Open your child's imagination. Open a book. ~Author Unknown

the quest to reduce mess

Paint on an open cardboard box. I've also just discovered poster paints (been avoiding them due to trying to expose kids to 'quality art materials' drill) but hey, this stuff washes off. Blues and purples can be harder to remove.
Tip from a friend: use hairspray to remove just about any stain of clothing, spray on, throw in the wash while wet.

Toddler at work

All it takes is a few seconds, turn your back and tada...!
I've been reading this book to the kids called "Ill love you forever" and this reminds me of the part where the 2yo flushes his mother's watch down the toilet, yet at night, she rocks him to sleep with:
"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as i'm living, my baby you will be." Hard to remember that part sometimes!!

Teabags, shells and sewing machine

Every morning, as daddy makes his cuppa tea, little miss Amy who wants to do it all just like grown ups insists on getting her own teabag, and swinging it around the house till it ends up in some corner, to be retrieved later by yours truly. So with a bit of inspiration from some blog(sorry can't find link) i came up with this felt version of 'the teabag'. They loved it, for a few days....






A very exciting afternoon at a nearby beach where we discovered treasure-troves of shells and stones. I got so excited after finding cowrie shells for the first time ever, it brought back memories of faraway Cameroon, visiting the palace of a local chief of a village, the front entrance decorated with cowrie shells embedded into the mud plaster, and strung around the neck as a necklace. Historically, they were used as currency in ancient Africa.




Finally, a sewing machine to get on to those myriad projects i've been dreaming up, especially after reading "The Creative Family" (thanks Lessan) and the whole idea of bringing the homely things back into the home.... Got this machine free from our local Freecycle network. Love Freecycle. It works, and at this butterfly stage of our life, i'm not spending much on heavy large objects that may not be able to move to the next destination (no clue yet where that could be).